Vintage Tee

Got Milfed.

I'm not a gynecologist, but I'll take a look.

I'm not a photographer, but I can picture us together.

I'm not a doctor, but I can cure your blues.

I'm not a meteorologist, but I can tell when it's wet.

I'm not a farmer, but I can raise a cock.

Plot Twist: I'm Actually Awesome

Sarcasm: My Native Language

I'm Not Weird, I'm Limited Edition

Chaos Coordinator

Professional Overthinker

Fluent in Sarcasm & Sass

I'm Kind of a Big Deal (In My Head)

Perpetually Unimpressed

Caffeinated & Unfiltered

Making Questionable Decisions Since [Birth Year]

I'm Not Arguing, I'm Just Explaining Why I'm Right

Trouble with a Capital T

Awkward & Proud

Powered by Spite & Iced Coffee

I'm Not Lazy, I'm on Energy-Saving Mode

Authentically Chaotic

Too Glam to Give a Damn

Professionally Indecisive

Fluent in Meme & Sarcasm

I'm Silently Judging You